Thursday, September 03, 2009

Only in America

In the "First World", the following kind of thing happens only in America. When I first read it in Nicholas Kristof's NYT column, I thought maybe it is a one-of-a-kind.

This is a nation that some constituents trumpet is based on "Christian values". About marriage:
The Bible, Matthew 19:6 (King James Version):

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
IMO, it is pretty much those who speak loudest about this who are most against fixing the rotten system. Rotten? Read on.

Kristof

The hospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlined how the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress, and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”

“I was blown away,” M. told me. But, she said, the hospital staff members explained that they had seen it all before, many times. If M.’s husband required long-term care, the costs would be catastrophic even for a middle-class family with savings.

Eventually, after the expenses whittled away their combined assets, her husband could go on Medicaid — but by then their children’s nest egg would be gone, along with her 401(k) plan. She would face a bleak retirement with neither her husband nor her savings.

A complicating factor was that this was a second marriage. M.’s first husband had died, leaving an inheritance that he had intended for their children. She and her second husband had a prenuptial agreement, but that would not protect her assets from his medical expenses.

The hospital told M. not to waste time in dissolving the marriage. For five years after any divorce, her assets could be seized — precisely because the government knows that people sometimes divorce husbands or wives to escape their medical bills.

“How could I divorce him? I loved him,” she told me.

“I explored a lot of options with an attorney here in town,” she added. “The attorney said, ‘I don’t see any other options for you.’ It took about a year for me to do the divorce, it was so hard.”


sylvarose on dailykos
"Rep. Hill you said this fight for health care has been going on a long time. Twenty some years ago my family did everything right. My father had a job. My mother was self employed. We had insurance. My parents had bought their own home. Then my mother's MS had become too bad where she needed 24 hour care. My father went to three different lawyers who all told them the same thing, 'Sir you have a choice. Divorce your wife, abandon her, or lose everything you have now and everything you will have and your ability to help your kids.' My brother was already starting college and I was in high school. My parents' divorce was finalized on my 17th birthday. My family was shattered so that my Mom could get on medicaid which provided her care for the next 17 years of her life.

Contrast that to my sister-in-law who is from Spain. When her family member with three young kids was diagnosed terminal they died in peace knowing their family was together. They didn't lose their home and the family wasn't burdened with health care bills. How in this country can we let this happen where a man has to divorce his wife of 15 years..the mother of his two children just so she can get the care she needs? Go ahead and boo me if you want..that's Ok. I've already lived through the pain."

Where I was booed at the beginning by those against health care..those for it stood up and clapped. I sat down and my hands were shaking.